Family Man Joins Life of Dad for Dads Doing Good Video

I had an amazing time working once again with director David Guest from Life of Dad for an installment of their Dads Doing Good video series, sponsored by Honda. In this video, we transported a bunch of materials and equipment in two spiffy Honda Odysseys to a baseball field in Hawthorne, California. There, David, contractor Ken Pepper, and a bunch of dedicated coaches/dads went to work improving a Little League Baseball field. Along with help from the kids at the Holly Park Little League and a film crew (including my own 15 year old son), we spent the day refurbishing a backstop, painting and putting up safety boards along the bottom of the fences, and installing a new pitching mound and pitcher’s rubber. We also presented the hard-working kids with new bats, balls, and helmets. What was especially impactful was getting to know the number of league coaches, who talked about giving back to their community as fathers and role models as they teach the kids to pitch, hit, throw, catch, and run. The video below tells the rest of the story in ways words just can’t convey. Special thanks for Tom Riles and his crew at Life of Dad for including me on this project.

Posted in Activities With Kids, Blog, Family Man Recommends, Film, LifeofDad.com, Sports, Video | Leave a comment

Dad’s Reel Life

By Gregory Keer

Starbuck-imageI’m such a film geek that I used to keep a journal of all the movies I saw, complete with the pompous commentaries of my early-20s bohemian phase. My celluloid nerdiness turned off most of the girls I dated before I found the one woman who liked classic-film double features as much as I did (I married her). I even studied screenwriting in grad school and now teach motion-picture history and production in high school.

So the fact that I’ve gone to a movie theater twice this year says a lot about two things:

1)           I rarely have time to go to the cinema because of the family-work vortex.

2)           The vast majority of new movies suck.

I still view films at home, though, again, I have so much less time to do so and none of my kids want to watch anything featuring black and white, ‘70s fashion, or subtitles.

While fatherhood has definitely put a put a crimp in my reel life, it has also contributed layers of perspective for my movie-going experience.

The first movie of those rare theater visits was Starbuck, which involves a 42-year-old serial underachiever named David who, in his younger days, donated sperm – often. When David’s girlfriend reveals she’s pregnant (via the old-fashioned way), she offers to raise the child without him. However, David wants to be involved and pledges to prove he can be responsible. Soon thereafter, an attorney from the sperm-donor clinic informs this loveable loser that his “quality” sperm has produced 533 children, many of whom have filed a suit to be able to contact him.

Against the advice of his single-father lawyer friend, David drops into the lives of his now-grown kids, anonymously helping them like a guardian angel through difficult situations. This is where the film hit home for me, as David’s paternal instinct and know-how accrued from his failures drive him to help the kids he so impersonally fathered. It is indeed an endless circus act to parent my children, maybe not as hard as nurturing 142 of them like the movie character, but it is something I feel compelled to do. And few things make me as satisfied as teaching them lessons I’ve learned from my own mistakes.

Late in the film, David’s immigrant papa decides to help his wayward son reach his fatherly potential because the dad has always seen the true soul of David. The scene reminded me of how my own father has believed in me, despite my mistakes, and it highlighted my need to recognize the gold in my sons’ characters, no matter what they do to make me mad or disappointed.

42-filmThe other movie that watered my 2013 film-going desert is 42. Although it’s less directly about fatherhood, I can’t think of another motion picture I so intensely wanted to take my children to other than this one about Jackie Robinson’s breaking of Major League Baseball’s color barrier in 1947. I’m a huge baseball fan, having shared ballpark visits, stories, and statistics with my father for a lifetime. For the most part, my sons could care less about the game, but wanted to see 42 before I even asked them because their friends had been talking about it for weeks.

In the theater with my three boys as well as another dad pal and his son, I was never prouder to be a father as we watched the story of a man of integrity, smarts, and athletic talent who weathered the heavy weight of racism to survive and thrive in baseball. My kids had questions before, during, and after the film about American history, allowing me to be a teacher and dad at the same time. Since I actually knew most of the answers, my ego floated on cloud nine. The film was an all-too-rare opportunity, amidst entertainment fare about apocalypses and cartoon mayhem, to bond with my kids over subjects that were explained to me by my father when I was a lad.

Inspired by 42, my youngest son more regularly wants to play catch and all my boys have taken at least an occasional interest in baseball. We even watched another of my favorite baseball movies, The Natural, which allowed me to talk to my kids about folk tales, ambition, and wonder.

Films continue to be a huge part of my life. I love to watch them on my own, but nothing beats the shared experience in a theater to start conversation and connect emotionally about topics we hesitate to bring up in the course of a normal day.

For Father’s Day, I don’t really need much. Just take me to the movies.

Posted in Activities With Kids, Columns by Family Man, Family Man Recommends, Film, Movies | 2 Comments

On the Passing of Roger Ebert

imagesNews yesterday that movie critic Roger Ebert died struck me because of how much he played a role in my own appreciation of film. Few people, if any, loved watching movies more than Ebert and he shared his passion for them with a huge — and devoted audience of readers and viewers. Ebert was an accessible and excellent analyst, winning a Pulitzer Prize for his written criticism. Although I sometimes disagreed with him on whether something was a “thumbs up” or “thumbs down,” I always learned something from his reviews and his arguments with the late great Gene Siskel. During his battle with cancer, which took away so much away from him, including his voice, Ebert never lost his sense of personal grace and continued to watch and write about motion pictures. As a dad who takes pride in sharing my love of movies with my children, a high-school film teacher, and lifelong film lover, I have drawn on Ebert’s recommendations so many times that he will forever be a part of my perspective on the art form. Rest in peace, Roger Ebert, and enjoy your seat in heaven’s movie theater.

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“Dad Jam” Marks Family Man’s Video-Writing Debut

In my ever-evolving partnership LifeOfDad.com, I now present the dad video, “Dad Jam,” a tale of father ego gone wrong on the basketball court. Director/editor David Guest, producer Tom Riles, and photographer Louis De Barraicua worked with my script and a bunch of talented actors to produce this short video diversion for your entertainment. I even convinced my middle son to act the part of an alternatingly embarrassed-supportive son. It’s my video writing debut so please watch, comment, “Like” it, and share it with friends.

Posted in Blog, Family Man Recommends, Film, Humor, Video | 2 Comments

Announcing Partnership Between Family Man & Life of Dad

Life of Dad-images (1)After a dozen years of writing for print and online, it’s time for Family Man to be set in motion with video! Announcing a partnership with LifeOfDad.com, the Social Network for Dads. We’re going to collaborate on short films and other Web content. The work being done by Life of Dad’s Tom Riles, David Guest, and their talented crew is what results from being great human beings, dedicated parents, and really funny guys. I am excited at the possibilities of the partnership. See “The International Dadcathlon” and look for more in the months ahead. Please tell your friends via social networks!

Posted in Family Man Recommends, Film, Humor, LifeofDad.com, Video | 1 Comment

Movie Aliens and Captains Offer Family Lessons

Maybe it’s the fact that my sons are getting older so I can take them to more films above the G rating, but I do feel this summer has offered a slew of worthwhile movies to see with my kids. Hard to pick a clear favorite at the moment, especially since timing issues have prevented me from seeing the last Harry Potter flick (I’m a bit fanatical about seeing it in just the right theater and with at least one of my children). But Captain America was a winner for my entire family. The Joe Johnston- (October Sky — which is well worth renting or downloading — and The Rocketeer) directed actioner paid homage to old Hollywood films as it centered on a WWII-era story of heroism, patriotism, and identity. Great line from the movie was Steve Rogers’ response to Dr. Erskine who asks if Steve wants to kill the enemy. “I don’t want to kill anyone. I don’t like bullies.”Nice lesson to kids who come to the theater to see “The First Avenger” and get a message that it’s not about looking to kill people but about standing up for yourself and preventing aggressors from victimizing others

I’m also a fan of Super 8. J.J. Abrams and his crew told a good Steven Spielberg-style tale of kids being better attuned to others (even aliens) and saving the world. It’s a thrilling movie that gave me a true bonding experience with my adolescent son, particularly because of the father-son storylines. One question, though: why do Hollywood movies and TV shows kill off moms in order to show dads bonding with their kids? This film, by the way, makes me want to show Stand and Deliver to my eldest.

Gonna try to see Cowboys and Aliens this weekend. Not as high on possible lessons, but looks like fun.

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4th of July Songs for Kids

Music maven Dave Sloan has posted his picks for a 4th of July playlist. It includes some unexpected (no surprise with Dave) selections from Violent Femmes, the Pogues, and more. For kids, there are plenty of patriotic songs worth cranking up while you fire up BBQs. Some more conventional but worthwhile choices include Ray Charles’s “America the Beautiful,” Elton John’s “Philadelphia Freedom,” and Woody Guthrie’s “This Land is My Land.” Every year, someone (I believe it’s the invaluable TCM cable channel) airs Michael Curtiz’s Yankee Doodle Dandy, a musical biopic of Broadway legend George M. Cohan, with James Cagney in the title role. I highly recommend this classic for its unabashed positivism and patriotism about the man who wrote such songs as “You’re a Grand Old Flag” and “Over There.” Make sure to catch the black-and-white version if you can. What are some of your favorite 4th of July songs?

Posted in Blog, Family Man Recommends, Family Music, Film, Holidays, Music | Leave a comment

Dating Dad: Rock

By Eric S. Elkins

Even before I was a father, I daydreamed about sharing the things I loved with my kids. I mean, what could be better than introducing your child to the joys of your life? I reveled in the idea of sharing amazing foods, books, music and other experiences with my offspring. And when Simone was barely a mass of cells, I’d sing to her mother’s belly whenever I had the opportunity — kid-friendly songs, ballads, and the Sh’ma; a prayer that Simone has known by heart her entire life.

I’ve written about the ways having my girl with me has enhanced my life, and if you’ve been paying attention, you probably noticed that one of my greatest joys is sharing experiences with her — watching and learning as she interacts with new things in her world. Sure, there’s the innate pleasure in watching her face as her brain processes new inputs, whether it’s foreign currency or duck fat fries — the moments when she first saw Big Ben and then the Eiffel Tower, her eyes wide, mouth open, iconic clichés suddenly real and wondrous, are treasured memories for me.

But the larger satisfaction that comes from sharing new things with Simone is in her appreciation of the things I love. I’ve never pressured her to like what I like, but she is the child of two geeky, sci-fi-loving, pop culture-addicted parents, so she’s kind of wired to appreciate the cerebral, the outlandish, the edgy. 

Simone never asked to listen to Justin Bieber or Hannah Montana. But she will request some Arcade Fire, maybe a little Decemberists, and always They Might Be Giants.  In our house, there’s plenty of Dave Brubeck, and at the age of three, Simone would ask to hear Ella Fitzgerald in the car. When she was six or seven, I took her to an off-the-radar Flogging Molly concert (another favorite, for both of us), and she danced with abandon backstage to their Irish-infused punk raucousness.

So when I bought two tickets to see U2 in Denver a full 18 months ago, I always knew Simone would be my preferred date at the stadium spectacle. We were disappointed early last summer when it looked like we’d need to sell off the tickets because of our trip to London, but then Bono threw out his back and the tour was postponed (sad for him, good for us). The rescheduled date is almost a year after the original one, but it’s coming up this weekend. Simone’s never seen an effects-heavy rock show. She has no idea what she’s in for. I feel so very lucky that I get to be there when the giant stage explodes with music and energy and she gets swept up in the majesty of it all.

I am starting to feel a little uneasy, though, about shaping Simone into an unabashed geek wonder.

See, sometime last year, I found out from a friend that the hoary old TV series SeaQuest DSV was available on Netflix Instant, and I thought it would be fun to watch with Simone. I had no idea that she’d be immediately enthralled, and would want to watch one episode after another. But the more we watched, the more I would laugh and say, “This is just Star Trek under the sea.”

Simone became very curious about this Star Trek of which I spoke, so we started out by checking out random episodes of the original series and The Next Generation (aka TNG) that I’d sweep up on the DVR. The old show was a bit too dark and cheesy for her tastes (though she did laugh through a few episodes), but, damn, she took to TNG right away, immediately loving the characters and story lines. That enthusiasm gave me the impetus to break into the DVD sets I’d been hoarding for years — when I used to write movie, book, and video game reviews, companies would send me tons of products. In that time, I managed to collect boxed sets of every season of the original show and its late ‘80s reboot. I’d been reluctant to break through the shrink wrap and desecrate what could be a small eBay fortune, but the thought of making our way through the mythology together season by season was much more exciting than maybe selling the set off for a few hundred bucks some years down the road.

For a time, Simone didn’t want to watch anything else except for the next episode of Star Trek. She abandoned Top Chef All-Stars, lost interest in reruns of Phineas & Ferb. It was Star Trek or…

…well…this is where I have started to feel a little guilty…

…because if we weren’t watching Star Trek on TV, Simone would beg for us to read J.R.R. Tolkien together. I know. I know.

Although Simone plows through massive novels on her own, we have a special ritual of reading together every night at bedtime. When I introduced her to “The Hobbit” (which her mother told her was boring) I wasn’t sure how she would take to it. But the story is so exciting, the writing so descriptive and rich, and the characters so lovable that Simone couldn’t get enough of the book. We didn’t even stop to breathe before we dove into the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy, immersing ourselves into the warm glow of Middle Earth and embracing “Fellowship of the Ring,” reading it aloud together at every opportunity; less TV, more curling up on the couch or in a sunny patch on the carpet digging into chapter after chapter. I’d read, different voices and accents for different characters, until my voice was ragged.

And, oh, when we finally finished the first book and I decided she was ready for Peter Jackson’s epic film version, we were both giddy with excitement. For me, it was all about experiencing Simone’s wonder at the loving manifestation of the novels — to be with her when she saw Ian McKellen’s Gandalf for the first time, or the meticulous creation of The Shire, the home of her beloved hobbits. Or — and this was so incredible to see with her — the appearance of the fire-winged balrog in the depths of the Mines of Moria. By the time the credits were rolling, Simone was a sweaty bundle of exuberance. In the same breath, she said it was the best movie she’d ever seen and could we get reading the next book in the trilogy.

At school these days, she and her pals play “Lord of the Rings.” Simone walks through the world with a Frodo name tag, a homemade necklace with a yellow clay One Ring, and…um…a sword wrought of pipe cleaners. 

Oh crap. What have I done?

Simone is her own person, and I would never want her to feel obligated to like something because I do. I want her to develop her own tastes and preferences. Did it break my heart when I realized she may never love roller-coasters? Sure, a little bit. But I’d rather she became a media-savvy consumer of art and culture — of the stuff that appeals to her at a cellular level — than a clone of her father. And I don’t want her to become so geeked out that she can’t communicate with the normals.

So her enthusiasm for Star Trek and Lord of the Rings gives me pause. In the midst of the deep satisfaction and pleasure I have when she asks me to re-read a beautifully crafted description in “The Two Towers,” I feel just the slightest pang of apprehension. I realize I need to give her the tools to feed her passions (as I’ve always done), but maybe to step back, too, a little more often now, as she navigates her tween years, and see what happens without my steady curating.

The good news is that, next school year, she’ll be surrounded by her tribe — creative, quirky students and teachers who will fill her receptive mind and heart with a diversity of perspectives. And music. And books. And movies. She’s headed into a fecund time of exploration, and I’m thrilled to see what new passions she brings home to share.

Who knows…maybe she’ll feel a surge of pride and excitement when she introduces me to some treasure for the first time, and I’m the one with a giant smile on my face.

Eric Elkins’ company WideFoc.us  specializes in using social media and ePR strategies to develop constellations of brand experiences, delivering focused messages to targeted segments. Read more of his Dating Dad chronicles at DatingDad.com , or tell him why he’s all wrong by emailing eric@datingdad.com.

Posted in Books, Dating Dad, Divorced Dads, Featured Moms & Dads, Film, Music, Single Fathers, TV | Leave a comment