Since May, Madeleine McCann has been missing from a Portuguese hotel room. Following months of searching, an international plea for help, and the recent evidence of blood traces in the parents’ rental car, the McCanns headed home, today, to England, their remaining twin children in tow (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6985454.stm).

The discussions around the world have been red hot. Should the parents leave the country in which their daughter was lost, though the authorities say they are free to go? Are police unfairly accusing the parents of having killed their daughter? Has there been an offer of a plea agreement if one of the parents will confess to the accidental death of Madeleine? What were the parents doing at a restaurant while their children slept in the hotel room, unsupervised?

Ultimately, we must all hope that Madeleine will be found, alive. Realistically, the situation is accutely painful for parents who live in fear, whatever the degree, that something horrible could happen to their children. One thing seems clear, based on my limited knowledge of the facts — the parents should not have left their children unattended. I know it’s judgmental, but parents just have to accept the restrictions placed upon us when we have kids. If we really need a break, then we should hire a referenced babysitter, or have one parent go out while the other one watches, or take the kids to the movies and chill out that way while the children are engaged in watching the film.

Truly, no one is perfect, and most of us have left our kids unattended for short periods under seemingly safe circumstances. It’s hard to drag unhappy kids everywhere, I know. But we have to bite that bullet and haul them around, nonetheless.

Another note is about fear. We must not cave in to worst-case worries for our own health and we should not scare our children to the point of making them think the world is out to get them. This is such a fine line, yet one lesson is that we need to depend on each other for moral support and even for child care help. It is a frightening world in a lot of ways, but we need to spend our time teaching and building rather than scolding and worrying.

After a hiatus from writing about toy recalls and other troubling family-related issues, I have returned to this space. Didja miss me? Wait, don’t answer that. Actually, the reader feedback is growing on a number of the posts I’ve put up over the past months, so I’m looking forward to lively interaction as we fall into the new season.