About a year-and-a-half ago, I blogged about a Newsweek article, called “The Trouble With Boys,” that discussed the difficulties today’s young males were having in academics, in self-esteem, in behavior, and more(http://www.familymanonline.com/?p=9). At the time (in May 2006), I stressed the importance of recognizing the role of gender for our children and the value of being a positive role model, especially when we are most challenged. More on these thoughts can also be found at my article for Parenthood.com (http://www.parenthood.com/articles.html?article_id=10257).

Now there’s a new story on the debate about contemporary boys (http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1647452-1,00.html). David Von Drehle’s hopeful TIME magazine piece, “The Myth About Boys,” contends that, after years of sounding alarms about boys at risk, we are turning a corner and helping our young guys do better at life. Von Drehle even cites the marvelous bestseller, The Dangerous Book for Boys, as a sign that we are rejoicing in boy culture, both old and new(http://www.familymanonline.com/?p=94).

Von Drehle concludes his story by saying, “Worrying about our boys–reading and writing books about them, wringing our hands over dire trends and especially taking more time to parent them–is paying off. The next step is to let them really blossom, and for that we have to trust them, give them room. The time for fearing our sons, or fearing for their futures, is behind us. The challenge now is to believe in them.”

While it can be argued that there are still ample reasons to fear for our boys — and girls, for that matter — I stand with Von Drehle in the attitide of hope. Caring works and, rather than slide further into anxiety and self-fulfilling prophesies of failure, let’s show our boys that we have faith in them and their destinies.

The headline of a recent Newsweek cover story blares “The Trouble With Boys.” A documentary based on Michael Thompson’s bestselling book Raising Cain has been playing on PBS. Thankfully, the national media is putting the topic of boys front and center.As the Newsweek article asserts, for the past 30 years or so, girls have been the primary group in need of our attention because they were falling behind boys in school and society at large. Certainly, girls still require our efforts to be sure that they succeed in a rapidly changing world. But now, boys — especially those in middle and high school — are struggling mightily.

The issues involve poor academic performance, low self-esteem, eating disorders, violent outbursts, and a host of other problems.The magazine article focuses on the academic problems of boys, explaining that accelerated expectations as early as kindergarten do not match the mental abilities of most young boys. This is because boys develop in almost every way slower than girls. Anxieties can be set early and deepen as we all expect boys to excel, and many kids are buckling under the pressure, giving up and falling further and further behind.Society has undergone serious alterations. The sense of security for boys, however tentative it really was in past generations, is crumbling. It’s no longer OK to tell young males to “be a man” and “tough it out,” thinking that barreling through emotional pitfalls is the way a boy can succeed.

Now, more than ever, fathers and mothers of boys must look at the uniqueness of their children’s gender as part of seeing them as individuals. Specifically, dads need to reach out to their boys, talk with them about their worries, and be sensitive enough to give them help academically and emotionally.

We have to be role models for our sons. We need to show them what hard work really is but also exhibit ways to handle failure and learn from it. We can also serve them well by telling stories of our maturation, both the bad times and the good experiences. While it’s beneficial for us to be strong enough to support our boys, it’s important for us to show them that weaknesses do not mean a man crumbles.

See the Newsweek article for more info: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10965522/site/newsweek/.