Despite grand plans to watch everything on TV, we’ve only managed to watch highlights so far of the FIFA World Cup. We’ve been listening on the radio, which is better than I expected. Who is that Irish commentator on ESPN? Great fun to listen to his hyper-dramaticization of the few goals being scored. Best part of the Cup, thus far? Teaching my kids — and myself — geography and culture highlights.
A few weeks ago, my sixth-grader son needed to read a biography for a class paper. I searched my bookshelves and brought him out a selection I thought he might like, secretly hoping he would select one that meant a lot to me in particular. Sure enough, he chose They Call Me Coach, the autobiography John Wooden wrote with the help of Jack Tobin. My son took the book to school to start reading it, and when he came back he told me it had been inscribed by Wooden to me. I had totally forgotten where I had purchased it — at John Wooden Basketball Camp in 1974. It was at that camp that I met Coach, who went around to personally greet his many campers. It was at that camp that I learned about big things such as the Pyramid of Success (a philosophy of life as well as basketball) and seemingly little stuff, including how to double-knot my shoes so the laces never untie.
On June 4, John Wooden died of natural causes, just a few months shy of his 99th birthday. He leaves behind a record of 10 NCAA men’s basketball championships, but — and this is what is universally mentioned in the obituraries — a legacy of teaching others how to (as he was fond of saying) ”make each day your masterpiece.” Growing up attending UCLA games he coached, going to camps he ran, reading his books, and attending the college at which he worked and still held sway decades after his retirement, I have not only learned from this educational master but also been informed about how to teach my own children. He even has a book called Inch and Miles (again found at his official Web sit under the Bookstore tab), which puts his teachings into a picture book for kids.
As a middle schooler, I lived for a while near Coach. I had a carpool that picked me up on a corner that he often power-walked past. On days I wasn’t so shy, I would say hello as he went by and he always smiled and greeted me back. That was the way Coach was, a combination of awesome greatness with approachable folksiness.
Role models are harder and harder to find in the public world of celebrity. Thankfully, Coach will forever teach through his writings, videos, and lasting influence.
Except for the time I miraculously won a local dads tournament, I suck at bowling. I usually depend on the bumpers they put up for my four year old to knock down pins. However, I enjoy rolling the black (or marbled green or electric yellow) ball throughout the year, particularly to beat the heat of summer. Now, my pal Scott Frager (who publishes Bowling Industry Magazine) tells me many of the country’s bowling centers have a Kids Bowl Free program till the end of summer. Sign up at the site so your kid can get 2 free games at your local bowling alley. The program also offers a Family Pass that entitles each adult member of the family to bowl 2 games a day for as little as $23.95 for the whole group. Merrily may you roll along.
My older two kids (10 and 7) still talk about what they did at recess before anything else. Sure, I’d love if they talked a bit more about the lessons they learned inside the classroom, but now there is extra proof showing that recess makes learning more effective. A new study published in the journal Pediatrics shows that children who get at least 15 minutes of recess for a school day behave better in the classroom than those who get less or no play time. According to an article in the New York Times, there are other recent studies linking physical activity to improved in-class performance. The reason this is such important research is that, as schools endeavor to improve academic achievement for their students and concurrently battle with shrinking budgets, one thing that should be a staple is recess and perhaps even more time to play (P.E., anyone?) and rest the brain so the kids can go back inside and learn more effectively. Still, not all schools can afford supervision for play time. At our own public school, the parents banded together to raise money to pay for a P.E. teacher and we really feel it’s been money well spent.
New research on sedentary, overweight children finds that exercise not only improves their fitness but also decreases their anger. The children in the exercise groups studied, ranging in age from 7-11, engaged in after-school activities for 20 minutes or 40 minutes daily for 10-15 weeks. Following the research period, both of these groups scored lower on the Pediatric Anger Expresssion Scale than the collection of students who remained inactive. The study also found that as a student scored higher in his/her fitness, he/she scored lower in anger expression. While the report maintained that overweight children are not necessarily more prone to being angry, it did acknowlege that these kids are often the victims of poor self-image, being bullied, and bullying others.
There are several helpful pieces to take away from this latest report on obesity in our children. One is that exercise may be just as helpful in improving an overweight child’s mood as it is in adults (who have been more widely studied on this matter). The other piece is that this is yet another reason for parents to make sure our kids get exercise if not daily, then at least several times a week for 20 minutes, preferably more. Kids feel better in body and mind both during and after they exercise, and the case may be made that the anticipation of physical activity, especially if it’s fun, may lift a kid’s mood before they do it.
In today’s world of indoor amusements (mostly of the electronic variety), it isn’t easy to get some kids to exercise. We are also dealing with our own fears of letting kids go out to play unsupervised, the annoyance of having to drive them to a park, and the diminished availability of PE at most schools. Many kids may be mostly fine, moodwise, without exercise, but most — including my own sons — need to blow off steam, aggression, frustration, etc., before they can do homework or just sit at a dinner table. Sometimes, my wife and I have been given to requiring a certain amount of play time outside before they’re allowed back in the house. This would have been a joy to me when I was a kid, so we have to learn how to condition our kids to run around more.
In this gift-giving season, consider jump-ropes, balls, basketball hoops, cool athletic shoes, and other tools of exercise in addition to those video games. And while you’re at it, go out there with your kids and run around!
Every year, my wife and I debate how many extracurricular activities we and our kids can handle/want. We want to expose them to sports (our kids need the exercise with PE so minimal at school), the arts, and more, but how much is too much? The driving around alone is a huge time-suck. Where do the costs outweigh the benefits? We also want to be fair with our sons so no one has much more extra stuff than the other, but the little one has gotten the least this year, so far.
Readers, how do you manage the extracurriculars? What’s your cut-off point? How much do you let your kids help you decide? How many activities should a child have during the school year?
Yesterday’s firing of Don Imus has been widely commented on, but I’d like to throw in my two cents. The demeaning words Imus used to disparage the Rutgers women’s basketball team (which you can read about elsewhere: http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/04/13/imus.rutgers/index.html), were intended to provide shock value. That’s what Imus does and his massive popularity over the decades (predating Howard Stern) shows how willing many in the American public are to support someone who vents without censor, ridicules countless people, and appeals to our baser instincts. This is not to say that Imus is not intelligent — he has cleverly played to the public’s taste for a long time.
But his firing, by CBS radio and MSNBC cable TV, is a reaction to a public outcry to punish someone for showing insensitivity to race and gender that was too strong even for our jaded society. Maybe he did it just for the shock value, yet the fact that he did it was reprehensible and his corporate bosses followed through with a punishment that will hurt them perhaps more than him.
For our children, this is a fine example of how adults can be disciplined for misusing words. We often say that sticks and stones will never hurt, but we all know that they do. Pointing out this case may feel a little raw to our young people, however it is a great means of comparison for kids who don’t understand why they might get in trouble for similar comments in school, at home, or on the playground. It’s also good to note that the women of the Rutgers team handled themselves with diginity, never asking for Imus to be fired, but simply standing up for themselves as human beings. Part of me expects, and hopes, that although Imus claims he’s done apologizing, he will use his publicity to teach tolerance. In the meantime, his downfall is a prime opportunity to show our children that America means business when it comes to verbal abuse and equality.
Frustrated by my pacifist son’s willingness to let an opposing soccer player stiff-arm him away from the ball, I told my child that it’s OK to push back because it’s part of the game. So, my kid did just that, rather lightly — and apologized quickly before continuing the action. I’m lucky because my son’s better nature overcame my soccer-dad drive, which allowed me teach something that is a little dicey since it’s hard for many third-graders to understand the diffference between the playing field and the everyday world of classrooms and playdates. This is just the kind of issue that worries the Josephson Institute of Ethics, which recently published the findings of a nationwide survey on the ethics of student athletes (http://www.josephsoninstitute.org/reportcard/). The study concludes that athletes cheat more on tests and in other situations than students who are not on athletic teams.
The survey has also caught the attention of the Los Angeles Times, which interviewed experts with opinions from various angles, from coaches to league administrators (http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-ethics18feb18,1,7160649.story). Under scrutiny is how students come to cut the corners of fairness to success. Are coaches to blame because they’re more driven or pressured to win? Are parents pushing their children too hard without seeing the off-the-field consequences? Are professional athletes — who use steroids, spike the fuel in their race cars, and trash talk — too influential on our children?
I agree with Michael Josephson, who heads the Josephson Institue of Ethics as well as the long-running Character Counts campaign, in my concern that winning at all costs at the youth level will often lead to the same philosophy among adults. This is not a new worry, but it is one we must continue to address if we are to raise children with integrity and honor. Reality dictates that many of our most successful adults are liars and cheaters, but that does not mean we cannot have some effect in changing that.
My oldest son, now eight years old, isn’t exactly a superstar on the athletic field. He lacks a competitive fire and admits to being “much better at passing the ball than scoring.” Yet he loves to run, has great team spirit, and gets a little more skilled each year. If a recent article published in the Los Angeles Times and Chicago Tribune (http://www.latimes.com/features/health/la-he-sports2oct02,0,2174372.story?coll=la-home-health) is any indication, by the time my child reaches high school, there will be little room for his kind on the sports teams.
The feature story explains that high schools lack the funding to carry more than a varsity or junior varsity or even sports beyond the major ones such as football, basketball, and baseball. With fewer teams, the competition for the available spots on the rosters is fierce, so only the elite athletes get the chance to play. Of these upper-echelon jocks, many of them get special coaching and even trainers. So what happens to the rest of the kids who want to play or just to stay in shape? It appears that there are slimmer pickings – compared to what was available for previous generations — in the way of teams or physical education at the high school, let alone lower school, level for anyone who isn’t a top-notch athlete.
Although many of us have a while to go before our kids get to high school, the article brings out a key question. How do we keep our less-than-superstar athletes playing games? Since there is an economic reality to the lack of teams available at the high school level – one that probably requires solutions involving political means and serious local fundraising — the real answer lies within a child’s self-motivation to play sports and a parent’s ability to both make sports an option and instill a love for games that goes beyond perfection.
From an early age, we need to offer as many athletic opportunities for our kids as we can. That doesn’t mean they have to play a season of organized sports for each, though you should consider trying a few, but it does mean that we teach them a little about many games, from baseball to badminton. Who knows what they’ll end up getting into? We also have to instill in them a sense of pride in trying hard, always endeavoring to improve, even when faced with the fact that they may not be the best jock on the field. And if there’s no team available for them to play on, then we can try to form our own regular games with kids in the community, renting out gyms or commandeering fields at a local park. We need to get our kids playing for health and for their spirits. We cannot give in to a sports culture that only attends to the elite and ignores everyone else. As always, I look forward to your comments.
